Sunday, August 16, 2009

A poem for my Dad


Sitting here in the sunny California Bay Area, thousands of miles,
away from him back in India, I remember with smiles,
many fond memories of childhood, growing up, adolescent,
and finally leaving home, from then to the present.
Reminiscences are strange, they fail you sometimes, I lament,
So I try and commit to memory, some special moments.
At least I need not be afraid about smudges in word documents,
Made by my tears as I go through nostalgia in the following sentences.

Looking at the world mostly perched on his shoulders,
I was the Princess and could win anything with honors.
Playing doctor to my doll, washing away my artwork from the walls,
Driving to the beaches, playing with sand-castles and the balls.
Amazing tricks with a rope climbing the wall to violin music, oh boy.
Even a simple garbage drop would be an extra trip to buy a toy.
A talented artist in his own right, working on oils, clay or pastels
he would see my crawly pictures of supposedly pretty girls,
looking like beheaded mummies, as signs of great promise.
I wanted to be like him! He ensured the smile on my face.

Started school and made friends, though boarding school was a fright,
Waiting for a bright 3D post card with his message on it, the only highlight.
Summer vacation, being with family, our happiness, he knew the best,
Soon we left boarding school and were just like the rest.
But there were times when he used to be so protective that it embarrassed me.
I especially remember the time when I had a fall at school and scraped my knee.
The next evening he was at the school grounds asking my friends,
While I stood there, hoping no one took offense,
if anyone pushed me on purpose, his darling daughter cannot fall by herself!
From that day, I made sure he knew that I could take care of myself.
My friends admired him for his gentle attitude, his smile, his good looks,
his knowledge on a wide range of topics, his collection of books,
Not to mention he was the gallant and willing chauffeur
being the one always to pick us up from a party or movie theatre!
He also gave the final touch to our Biology diagrams to impress our teacher.
Always the one to help – friends, neighbor, stranger or near & dear.

He had his rules about the books I read and movies I watched in my teens.
And when I sneak in a juicy romance novel, he had his uncanny way and means
In finding them in the most ‘unfindable’ place! The incriminating evidence in hand,
I would be in for a long lecture, a Charles Dickens, to read it, a command.
I still managed to read those books (it’s a girl thing, I guess!)
in between the Dickens but somehow I feel that he knew about it and did not stress!
He promised me a moped if in my 12th exams I crossed the 90 percentile
I did it, more to see the pride in his face than the moped I could ride in style.
College was fun as I zoomed up and down, but I ensured and squashed my fears,
that my friends’ whispers about me being a menace on two wheels did not reach his ears!

I went on to do my Masters, and this time in a Co-Ed class,
I ended up with more friends of the opposite sex! A tomboy that I was,
I remember the day when I gave a lift to a boy of my class on the pillion seat
He saw me and I knew I was in for a sermon complete.
I was feeling rebellious. So giving a boy a lift doesn’t mean anything, I frowned!
We talked about trust and openness that day and I never let him down.
He knew all my friends by name and when boys came home, oh brother,
he would hang around in the hall poking at something or the other.

Got a job, rode a better bike, read any novel and spoke to any boys I wanted,
watched Michael Jackson shows on TV in spite of his frowns, undaunted.
But I was still his little girl, he knew and he trusted,
I was a piece of him, and will always know as I adjusted.
We had some daily rituals, like a game of chess,
he would let me backtrack, when my side was in distress.
He was still the magic-fingers-Dad to repair my glasses, my bike
and my ego, whenever and as often required!

Time flew and he started looking for an alliance for me
and rejected all the boys based abroad, no one across seven seas!
Married and settled in Bombay, I left the home I knew for over 24 years,
New life, new family, everything new, but he allayed my fears.
Junior was born, and in my early days of new motherhood,
I went through panic fits for things I never understood.
When the puny fellow used to throw up or refused to sleep
or cried endlessly for God knows what, just to make me weep!
He used to take over and carry him in between feeds,
telling junior stories of great people and their deeds.
While I looked at him disbelievingly as to how junior will understand,
being so young, holding out his tiny hands around his old wrinkled hand.
His argument was that his grandson will register the stories
And influence him later as his destiny has in store many glories!

Some years back, he went through 2 major surgeries,
My superman was unwell in the hospital and that shook me up.
He came back home, much thinner and older
but he insisted that his heart was 20 years younger.
He has gone back to his old ways of driving the scooter for any small reason,
climbing the walls to pluck the elusive mango from our tree.
Now it is my turn to advise him to take care, not to eat pickles, no tension,
Not to climb trees, to get his tests done and he smiles through the phone.
And then I go about telling him what we are doing, work, weather, politics everything
what junior is up to, our plans to visit them and it keeps us going.

You must have known by now he is my Dad.
Today I see the same admiration in the eyes of my son for his Dad!
No! Today is not Father Day! It is just any other day,
and we love our fathers just the same, needless to say!
I pick my phone to talk to him at the end of this outpour,
Knowing I am still his little girl, however I grow older.


Moms are fantastic too and I have one – so beautiful in heart and brave in spirit but that is a whole different poem!

Sunday, August 02, 2009

Phase of Ganeshjis

"Vakratunda Mahakaya 
Surya koti Samaprabha
Nirvighnam Kurume 
Deva Sarva karyeshu sarvada"







This is a prayer to the leader of the "ganas" (the demi-gods The purport being:"Oh Lord with twisted tusk and great body and the one who shines with the brilliance of a crore of suns. Please remove the obstacles in my path always and in all times".

Ram had a dream about elephants a month before our son was born and he knew then that we would name our baby - Vignesh. And he was born soon after Ganesh Chaturthi :)

Lord Ganesha, who is known by many names in Hindu mythology is also called Vignesh - the remover of Obstacles.

While I dont want to go into the etymology or the symbolism or festivals related to Lord Ganesha  in this blog, you can drill down further into it at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/GaneshThe elephant-headed God has let many creative mind explore Him and His magnificence through sculptures, songs, chants and paintings. While I have a small collection of his miniature sculptures, I have attempted to also inquire into myself by painting Him in bright acrylics. I dont possess any of these or the other Ganeshas anymore which I have given away to friends. But someday I want to attempt them all again, this time together in one big canvass, as in several small paintings in one canvass. Someday... if Ganesha will remove all obstacles in the way ;)

Thursday, July 23, 2009

The Temple

The paint is still wet on this one. I know I will retouch it another 50 times before I am satisfied. But the blog beckons ;)

2 months back, when Ram saw this canvass with a frame on the roadside and a FREE sign on it, he picked it for me. I have never, ever, honestly, in no means been so ambitious - I would not have ventured out to buy a canvass of that proportion - let alone pay a huge price (pun intended!) for it. The original on it were some flowers which I heartlessly painted over with Gesso. I wanted to paint a temple! When I called my brother and casually mentioned how I was defacing the original which some artist must have spent time and love over it :( he even suggested that the original may be priceless and I am hiding it for future to discover it - reminded him of some movie/book! Anyways, I stuck to my original inspiration of painting a temple on it. I must admit that over the next 2 weeks when I just walked past the whitened canvass, I felt overwhelmed and daunted by the task.


In a whim, I decided to follow a suggestion from a friend and tried a variation in the skies, dividing into 3 stark colors. I have mixed emotions about the result. The temple is the Madurai Meenakshi temple - with one Gopuram and the temple pond. I have hesitation in even saying so as I may have made gazillion mistakes in copying the beautiful architecture and layout. So with due humility, I present you "The Temple".

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Phase of Faces


I get into phases and do a series of sketches on a specific topic - like the elephants, ships, landscape and now currently saints. There was once I did a series of Faces in pencils, some of which are in this blog. A Face well drawn for me is half the battle won - if I get that right, the rest is smooth. The entire mood of the painting is captured in the face...

Horses have always been a passion since my days with Louis L'amour books :) This pencil sketch I did a year back has the details of the veins and the straps. Turned out rather well.


This experiment with a Kathakali face which is usually colorful - the greens and the golds, as per tradition was reasonably good in black and white!


The tiger face is my favorite - the pencils have faded, but note the mean look!

Another one of my favorite is Buddha's face which I will upload once I get a decent picture of it :) I hope to become a better photographer in the course of this blog ;)

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Appa's paintings and sketches


Can you imagine how it is to grow up - watching and admiring your parent excel in something you dearly wish to also accomplish...For me, I loved having Appa as my role model and he encouraged me all along! My father has done them all - be it a painting on a porcelain pot, or a mural on the wall, or pencil sketches, or a etching, or a clay scuplture or quick paintings on greeting cards or a touch to my biology drawing.
(The painting on the right adorns the walls in our Coimbatore home.. the lady with the wet clothes clinging to her body as she ties her hair. Many have asked Appa why she did not turn around-uh-hum..)


(The coconut tree is part of the large mural in our living room which catches the eye when you enter our home.. Appa drew this along with the beaches and water rushing to the shore.. I leave it to you to imagine it!)

When he talks with nostalgia about his childhood, it is amazing to see his passion - in those days he has made use of all means - including the backside of calendars, or of tickets. He loved to do sketches with pencils and pens - esp Damsels :) that may have caught his eye (The pencil sketch on the right is signed with his name and date of 1957 - that is over 50 years back.)

I have some of his paintings and drawings which I preserve as the treasure. Sadly these days, he does not touch his pencil or paints inspite of our pleas.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

The walls are the canvas - my murals

We decided to paint our bedroom in our first home and Ram gave me my freedom to explore with paints and ideas on 1 wall. We went bold and chose bright palm green for the other 3 walls (pretty shocking for some folks!) and I decided to paint a bamboo forest on my wall. As the twisty bamboos covered the wall, I added a dash of color through birds - 1 on one side and 2 on another. Not to mention that I was teased endlesslessly about making the 3rd bird look the other way while the 2 talked to each other on one side! No prize for guessing who the birds were likened to!




Interestingly some years later, when we were painting the rooms in our new home, I painted a tropical island with 2 elephants on one side with a baby elephant on another. I am very happy with the reflection effect on the water. I hurried through this one - spent totally about 3 hours from start to end and since it was a silhoutte, I did not have any detailing. On retrospect, I feel I should touch the elephants up esp. their backside.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Swans and Saints

We had wandered into Amma's ashram in San Ramon. Amma was not in town but we decided to stroll around the ashram.. the prayer hall that echoed with our footsteps, the rose garden that was filled with offerings of blooms, the dinner hall which was large and vacant, but sound of the devotees ringing in my mind as they would have thronged this same place when Amma would have been there. A walk further into the woods and the eyes caught a dash of white. Curiosity dragged the feet and the further we walked, it was almost ethereal - 2 swans in the lake surrounded by thick foliage. Hinduism does equate swans (hans) to saints. We missed Amma but we saw them.

This pencil sketch was a quick 1 hour job the next day though I did have a picture to go by. I dont know if it is my photographic skills but the original looks much better in our study than what is on the blog :)

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Inspired by Tagore


I had painted this impression of birds in twilight long back on a small canvas with a snippet from Tagore's poems - one of the many I have read and re-read. "I have spent my days stringing and unstringing my instruments while the the song I came to sing remains unsung". I sometimes feel like one of the many birds on the electric lines ...

Monday, July 17, 2006

the fate of my written word is that it will be read..

This blog is a "beginning" though it has been my philosophy that there is no beginning or end for anything. This blog will basically hold anything from rambling thoughts, doodles, sketches, short stories, poems, favorite songs, and more rambling thoughts!